How to make the worlds greatest cup of tea

Tea, Its not necessarily in the ingredients, although they help.  And I mean they help a lot.  This guide is written as to help create the best cup of tea without the usual mish-mash of  ingredients and measurements. This guide is completely free of specific ingredients and specific measurements, its all in the technique.

This is my Technique.

Preparation Phase.

• Use refrigerator water spout and fill kettle with 1 minute of water
• Place on back-left burner, be sure to center kettle upon burner exactly as to not waste any heat. (sometimes use bigger burner and imagine how the surrounding "extra" heat creates a shield around kettle which makes it boil faster)
• Browse internet while waiting and succumb to the illusion of "a watched pot never boils"
• When kettle whistles, dart into kitchen with force as to slide as far as possible in the direction of the stove. make mental note of length of slide. Plan to create graph of slide lengths vs time of day.
• Open kettle whistle to combat annoying noise and remove kettle from burner. Place 1/20th of kettle on burner and then imagine the hot water rising and rotating inside the kettle.
• Grab cup from cupboard above the pouring area. (cup size and shape depend on an unknown factor)
• Open teabag container, even out corners of pyramid teabag and then inhale aroma with medium force.
• Stand a fair distance from the pouring area and practice throwing the teabag into cup. 
• Do not approach the pouring area for any other reason than to retrieve teabag unless the teabag enters  the mouth of the cup.
• (optional) slowly reduce distance to cup upon every attempt to limit time.
• Grab container of sugar with long handle teaspoon and place it to the right hand side of the cup.
• Observe photo opportunity.

Ingredient Phase.

• Pick up kettle and slowly pour water directly onto the teabag, increase water-flow and attempt to inflate teabag by creating a vacuum on one side as to suck air in through the other.
• Observe the teabag floating on top as the water rises and mentally pat yourself on the back.
• Grab corner of teabag and dunk teabag a few times to get more flavor from teabag.
• Take teaspoon and sandwich the teabag between concave side of spoon and side of cup.
• Take spoon to the trash can and flick teabag into trash can.
• Retrieve teabag from floor and quickly place in trash with fingers and clean up mess.
• Remove sugar container lid and scoop enough sugar until you accept that you have enough, and drop into the cup close enough that it does not spill but you do not get the end wet.
• (optional) prematurely stop flow of sugar if you feel you have previously misjudged.
• (optional) add small amount of sugar after experiencing "Sugar remorse".
• Close lid to sugar and resist temptation to put it back next to the teabag container, just because your hands are now in the same position as if you were to put it away.
• Stir sugar slowly and increase frequency of revolutions until you have created a satisfying whirlpool.

Clean-up Phase.

• remove spoon from cup and flick remaining tea back into the cup.
• Take spoon to sink and wash off any remaining tea by running spoon into water stream, 2 times concave side up, 2 times convex side up.
• Place spoon on paper towel on top of the lid to the sugar container. Take note that the paper towel does not discolor. 
• Now place sugar container back next to the teabag container. Do this quickly.

Garnish Phase.

• Immediately go to the fridge and take out the milk.
• Quickly unscrew milk and pour a satifyingly small amount of milk into tea while it still rotates.
• Observe spiral as the milk slowly mixes with tea.
• Place milk back in fridge.
• Take sip of tea to test taste
• Regret being so quick to sip tea and put up with burning sensation on lips and tongue.

Another awesome cup of tea.