Sunday, January 22, 2012

Panic: Part 1

Frank was nervous. This had never been attempted before let alone attempted on live television.  Twenty minutes remained before they went live and Frank had to go over his lines for the eleventh time.  Not only had this not been done before, but Frank didn't understand what it took for this to be executed with precision. They had told him over and over again but none of the jargon gelled inside his mind. And why would it? Frank is not the type of person who understood science, he was fascinated by being the front man in the spotlight.  Since childhood Frank wanted the cameras on him, to stand there and feel like the worlds eyes were all gazing at him. He treated everyone's misery as an opportunity to stand in the spotlight, whether you had just been diagnosed with cancer or you had been robbed, Frank would be there with his luke warm personality and pre-rehearsed words to stand next to you and enjoy your misery.  He treated the lens like a shiny prominent eye fixated onto him with poise and interest.  No matter what he would say to that eye, it would always be there, unable to deviate its path which was very fortunate this time as he had no clue into tonight's content.  What was he going to say? What did all of those words mean?

    "How am I going to talk about this stuff without sounding like a complete tit?"

Frank accidentally said that thought out loud.  He quickly looked around to see if anyone had herd him but the scientists in the background were frantically working hard to diagnose the problems they had encountered not ten minutes ago with Frank's dog.  Frank had no idea that the scientists heard his blunder and were already thinking of things to say to, and about him later.  The smell of burnt fur began to fill the room. It traveled slowly over time and picked up a few more rogue odors.  It wasn't a strong smell and by the time reached Franks nostrils, it had went through a metamorphosis into a smell which when lightly encountered resembled popcorn.  Fisher aproached Frank and patted him hard on the shoulder.
    "Got those strange words all worked out?" Fisher said with an unusually loud voice as if he was trying to gather the attention of a room at least three times the small studio in which they could barely afford.
    "Well there are a few questi..."
    "Good! good man Fred" Fisher interrupted with.  Fisher knew Frank's real name but liked to call him other names beggining with 'F'. He used this as an excuse to use the 'F-word' by accidentally on purpose which sounded as obvious as you can imagine.  Fisher was not one for tact, in fact he was the one who suggested that Frank's dog be used as the test subject for the machinery which they were demonstrating live on television.  This technology was going to be a pioneering factor to a great change in the world.  Frank was going to be able to hold an interview with the greatest person in his mind.  Himself.

The lights burst into existence with a dramatic clack all over Frank's face which he rubbered into the sickening grin which has been associated so frequently with misery.  Something which should be seen as so positive now the pinnacle of pain Frank's face was quite the conundrum, you know that you are supposed to feel joy but instead this overwhelming feeling that you just want to die inside takes over.
    "Goooooood evening" Frank started out. "Oh, crap!" he though, "That was way too long for 'good'". It was too late now, he continued on with his speech but with the though of that lingering word in the back of his mind.  Minutes had gone by and finally it was time for the machine to be warmed up.  The scientists in the back ground did not have the most positive of faces but they certainly did a professional job never-the-less.  Of course as professional as one could do with such equipment as this,  for this was the first of its kind.
    "Well without further adieu," Frank could kick himself again for stringing out the final syllable. "Lets get this bad boy fired up". "Bad boy fired up?" He thought to himself, he certainly felt like this was the worst performance that he ever given.  First he strung out the first word out of his mouth and then mispronounced almost of the jargon words which were phonetically written for him and to top it all off he accidentally pronounced a word correctly but then corrected himself which made one of the scientists in the background spit tea at the other scientist who then said half of a bad word before she caught herself.

For a dramatic effect this machine was very crudely constructed.  Most of the pieces were unnecessary and dated.  The previous versions of this machine could actually fit into your pocket if you were a frequent shopper as Big Bobs Tall and Fat.  The machine which was in the studio actually took up a large portion of the studio itself.  So much so that they had to move all of the furniture ridiculously close to the cameras which Frank had absolutely no problems with.  The only thing which could make the relationship that Frank had with the camera even more creepy was to have two Franks in the studio.  Unfortunately, this was the plan.  The machine made a loud roar as it teared through the procedure which Frank had verbally butchered not but five minutes ago.  He then continued to talk as the machine got louder.
    "As you can hear, this is quite a powerful machine indeed. What you are hearing now is the sound of quantum particles ripping through a tiny coil at the speed of light which separates the entangles particles in time." The two scientists in unison looked in his direction and like mirror images of each other they rolled their eyes and turned back before their smiles were detected on camera.
    "What has been our success rate on this guys?" Frank yelled out to the busy men in the background.
Caught completely unawares the two scientists had no idea that either one of them would actually have a speaking part in this production and mentally squared off at each other in an impromptu game of silence which ended with one of them feeling like they had to say something before it became really uncomfortable.
    "Well we just fried the last thing we sent through but we're pretty sure it was a fluke.  We didn't actually find anythi..."
"Fantastic" Frank interrupted. "Damn it!" He thought "That was the perfect time to string out a word"

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